September 15, 2000

Feedback@People Helping People

But, I’m a Cop…  How Can I Be An Alcoholic?

   The feedback from listeners has been overwhelming!  Here's a selection of some of the most interesting mail:

Dear Mark:  I HAVE BEEN A HEAVY DRINKER MOST OF MY LIFE.

 IS IT POSSIBLE TO TONE DOWN THE ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION AND BECOME A SOCIABLE DRINKER, WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO DO…

  I LISTEN TO YOUR SHOW WHENEVER I’M WORKING BECAUSE I’M IN A POLICE CAR AND I CAN DICTATE WHATS BEST FOR ME.

  I KNOW ALCOHOL PLAYS A LARGE ROLE IN MY LIFE AS DOES THOSE I ASSOCIATE WITH (NO, MOST OF THEM ARE NOT POLICE OFFICERS)...MY DOCTOR SAYS I SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM THOSE WHO DRINK BOOZE. IF I DID THAT, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANG AROUND ANYONE I CURRENTLY KNOW...

  I VALUE YOUR WORDS.    I’M SO GLAD YOU STRAIGHTENED OUT, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE ON THE EDGE AND THANKFULLY FELL OFF ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE FENCE

Yes, it's possible to cut down for some people.  Except, from what you're saying I don't think you're one of them.
  Your Doctor nailed it with his question...although I doubt you gave him the same answer.  Alcoholism is not about how much or how little you drink.  It has to do with relationships and the way we think.
  The problems of Law Enforcement officers facing up to their alcohol and drug problems are difficult for the individuals concerned.  I've had some little experience dealing with alcoholic Police Officers in treatment and found their thinking to be off base when it comes to the very human topic of addiction:  They're not supposed to be alcoholic/addicted because they're cops...  That's like saying Doctors shouldn't get sick since they work in medicine...
 You can speak to someone in your local Police Association about problems with alcohol, without fear of being "labelled."  If you have problems speaking to someone in your own area, I'll be happy to put you in touch with other officers who've had to face their problems.  You could also make a call to AA, and speak to someone about alcoholism, anonymously. 
  Please, let me know what happens!

But, I’m a Successful Young Professional…

How Can I Be An Alcoholic?

Dear Mark: Your program is a good thing.  NO doubt about it.  

The young guy you talked to at the beginning of tonights show sort of mirrored my situation.   

How much is too much... but that is another story.  

My concern is dealing with the stigma in the workplace after you admitted 3 years ago that drinking was a danger to you.  And despite 3 years of stellar performance they always second-guess you, even all the profit figures are up about 180%.

It has been spread to the employees outside of the management level, and I don't know how.  But I can guess.. (Management that does not know about personal information and how to deal with it) that the second-guessing has occurred if something doesn't sound right.  Immediately it is not a misunderstanding... a misinterpretation, an error... it is Steve is drinking again.  

Though I never stopped, I did stop abusing.  How do you get rid of the monkey on your back?  

Stop the second-guessing, the presumptions etc.?  I don't even have a beer when I am working at lunch and "they" assume every error is a problem.  

Can you stop it and how?   

I know the dogma of one problem experience equals a lifetime of problems... but I believe that it is a lifetime of potential problems.  How you manage yourself is the key.  Knowing that it can be a disaster keeps you away from the brink; self-control.  

That prevailing attitude seems to be my chain at work.... and I don't think it will ever go away.  What do you think?  

After listening to your show a number of times.. I value your opinion.

Sincerely,

Stephen.   

I'll say to you what I say to everyone about alcohol consumption: Alcoholism has nothing to do with how much or how little you drink. Congratulations on recognizing your problem 3 years ago. That's a real breakthrough for anybody!   Continuing to drink; even drinking responsibly is where the problems are happening for you.

I think you're mistaking the real care and concern of those around you. When you admitted having a problem 3 years ago, they stuck by you through it...Didn't they?

If the problems are coming from lower management who should not be aware of your personal problems, then take your disputes back upstairs to those who should know what's going on.

It's not a question of someone saying, "Steve's drinking again." You make no secret of it. However, there are legitimate concerns when someone who's had problems with alcohol takes up drinking again.

If you didn't drink, you'd have no problem. But, one of the marks of a true alcoholic is the fight we put up to defend our right to drink! This is a "no-win" situation unless you actually give up drinking...Or, hide it so well that no one notices. Good luck!

But, I Only Smoke Pot… How Can I Be An Alcoholic?

Hi Mark!

Your show really is addictive.  I first heard it about a month ago and I listened to it a few times, but now I find myself tuning in every night.  As a matter of fact, listening to you has helped me to realize that there are a few things in my life that I need to give up.

The only drugs I do are pot, nicotine and caffeine.  You've made me think a lot about why I smoke pot and why I think I need it.  I now realize that I always had an excuse to smoke it.  My favorite excuse is that I'm a musician and artist and the pot helps me to be creative, but I also meditate as well, and I know that those same states can be reached during deep meditation.  I now know that I smoke pot because it helps me feel good and happy.  That leads me to ask myself, "Well, why don't I feel good without it?  What is lacking in my life that I need to feel fake happiness all the time?"  Thanks to you, I feel like I can confront the things I numbed through years of pot use (and alcohol before that, which I quit 2 years ago).  I now want to stop poisoning my body, mind and soul.

It's so nice to hear a show on the radio that isn't all about arguing and debating and people getting angry at each other.  It's so wonderful that there's someone who really cares, and is understanding.

Keep up the amazing work!

Sincerely,

Kali

  This is probably the only time that you've thought about pot without "defensiveness" in years! It's good to re-evaluate decisions, and this is one you probably made when you were very young...about 12-15?  How often do you ask a 12 year old for advice today?

  I used to say that pot helped my creativity when I smoked while writing.  In fact, I've found a few articles I wrote when I was stoned that were very good...the few that I actually wrote!  Pot smokers as a rule aren't a bunch of hard working, high achieving creative people.  There are exceptions, of course.  But, I'll hold out the standard picture of dope smokers: Which is, a bunch of people getting stoned, then sitting around saying "Wow man! Am I ever stoned!"  Not incredibly creative.  One of my personal favourite weeds to smoke was called "Coma."  In my dealer’s words: "You won't feel anything when you're on this stuff!"  So, what was I trying to achieve?  a) Great creativity? b) Peace? c) Freedom? Or, d) anaesthesia? 

  If you can achieve the same states through meditation that you love while stoned, the only person who'll suffer is your drug dealer!  (He'll be losing your money...poor guy!)

Dear Mr. Elliot,

I called your show and I asked you about resources for an essay I had to write about if the legal drinking age in Ontario should be lowered.  I would like to thank you for your help...Your suggestions really helped a lot and I did mention your opinions in my essay.  It's due in a couple of days so after its done and graded I'll send it on to you.  Thanks again,

Julie

It amazes me that the Province of Ontario keeps the legal drinking age at 19.  An oasis of alcohol for young Americans from all the surrounding States where the drinking age has been raised to 21...  Seeing the streets of Windsor, Ontario on a Friday or Saturday night when it's jam-packed with American kids, too young to drink at home, is enough to convince me that the law needs to be changed!  We don't need that kind of tourism!  It's an embarrassment that needs to be corrected!

Mark Elliot is the host of “People Helping People”.  An openline talkshow about addictions and recovery heard Nightly on C.F.Y.I. Talk 640, Toronto & AM 800 CKLW Windsor/Detroit. Online at www.markelliot.com

©2000 The Elliot Company Inc.