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E-Tarded Kenny took MDA to get high when we met in 1984. "It makes me sooooo loose all over when I'm on the dance floor!" he'd exclaim with a smile. It did likewise when he was in bed with anyone. Kenny was into the gay scene and going crazy on "The Love Drug".
"I'm Blue, (Da Ba Dee)" The title of this song heard at rave parties includes a synthesized voice that seems to say: "without E, I would die!" There is no such thing as free drugs. Sadly, not enough is said about the dangers of Ecstasy and other amphetamines. Recent studies have shown that as little as one dose of MDMA can do some level of permanent brain damage. Those who have used it repeatedly destroy their seratonin producing functions, which can lead to clinical depression, learning disabilities, loss of memory and many other problems. Ecstasy should truly be called the "brain damage" drug.
Better Living Through Chemistry? It would be nice if knowing where their drugs are made could turn off users'. This ain't a sterile laboratory we're talking about! What Caused My Worst E Experience? * An anonymous letter published at the website ecstasy.org Everybody was having fun and enjoying himself or herself. A lot of us kissed,
but not in a sexual way of course. It brought me closer to my friends
and the empathy I felt from kissing was terrific. A real bonding ritual. Everyone looked beautiful. Now, me myself I considered myself straight
until that night. I am a very open guy. I have no problem with being
around, hugging, etc. gay people. One of my friends, who also was a guy as
it turned out had a crush on me. And obviously he wanted to kiss me.
After I kissed a couple of my friends (girls) I sat on the couch next to
him. We hugged for a long time. And talked quietly about stuff. Then,
from what everyone else said, we kissed. It shocked me at first, but I felt totally secure and unashamed with all
my close friends. I decided to go with the moment. We kissed until the
comedown of the E. The E lasted at least 6 hours. The next day I was in total afterglow of the E. And I still enjoyed
kissing him. The next day, kissing him was starting to lose the magic it
had the other night. And by the third day after it felt like kissing a
friend that I felt close to. I told him what was happening and he felt sad. The day afterwards we
went to my friends' house and his roommate is a major e supplier for the
local rave scene. I mean there are bags of very good e tabs in his home. And
he always gives free E out constantly. So about 4 of us took some E. After it started to hit me, he came over and we kissed for a minute. I
felt like it was just a big front put on by my part. I stopped and he
just sat there for a few moments then he went over to a Walkman and
listened to some Cyber Trance. I had realized that the rush of feelings toward him were completely gone.
It made me sad. Another good friend came over and got me. He talked to
me and walked me back to the couch. I started getting frustrated and
mad. I started yelling at him and telling him to get away. I began
swearing and trying to kick him to go away. It was the worst E experience I have ever had. Can you explain this to Elliot's Reply I wanted to say: Look, you're lying to yourself! Don't try to sidetrack us with this 'Is it E or is it Me?' nonsense about being or not being gay. The problem is not gay dealers or gay sex or gay (or straight, etc.) anything else. You may decide you need to stay away from certain people, but not because of their sexuality. There are only two halves to the life-or-death equation I see here: YOU and YOUR ADDICTION. Everything else is conversation. Including whatever bar you might have bought the stuff in, or what the various libidinal preferences of dealers and other users you've met may happen to have been, or what you may have done with them when you were high. Not that these and other concerns aren't Important -- or don't deserve your attention. Few of us, for example, don't feel some confusion about our sexuality. But you have to stop killing yourself before you can even begin to ask these questions, much less answer them. Don't look for outside "evil" influences. Look to how the drug may be ruining your own life. The other E-users you may feel led you astray may well turn out to be as lost in the dark as you are -- but believe me, it's not because of their sexuality. It's because of their addiction."
The actual answer given at the website pussyfooted around saying anything the writer wouldn't have liked. Reality is that Ecstasy is an incredibly dangerous drug. Test results show that every batch of pills has a different chemical makeup. You can't tell what you're taking without a chemical analysis. And it's foolish to experiment with your brain to find out what it will do to you. Mark Elliot is the host of "People Helping People". An openline talkshow about addictions and recovery heard
online at
http://www.markelliot.com Copyright 2000, 2001 The Elliot Company Inc.
I only tried it once. Didn't get off on it at all, preferring my cocaine. But watching Kenny I could see where it would lead.
The day I took him to the Venereal Disease Clinic he needed "moral support" (A weird expression, huh?). But, that was the story with MDA (3,4-METHYLENEDIOXYAMPHETAMINE). It was displaced in favor of MDMA (3,4-Methylenedioxy-N-Methylamphetamine).
Nowadays we call it Ecstasy, E, or X.
E has the reputation of being the drug of rave parties. But, it's just as common in after hour's clubs where the clientele is pre-drinking age, and the energy levels are bursting on the dance floor.
"The really disturbing thing about this is that the kids who are using E are the brightest and the best" according to Sandra Pupatello, Deputy Leader of the Ontario Liberal Party who attended a rave as part of her research on the drug. "These are kids who wouldn't do other drugs, but think Ecstasy is harmless." Most users pick up on E to give them more energy to dance all night, or are pressured into it by peers or pushers who give them free samples.
A pusher will ask: "Are you rolling?" to a raver. If the answer is: "No", then a free sample is offered. Ecstasy is so addictive that even a single use may be enough to start an addiction.
Staffs in hospital emergency rooms are seeing more and more cases of users suffering the ill effects of E. Paranoia and hallucinations are common side effects. With E, users often have difficulty recalling specifics. They may remember having sex, but not with whom. Like all street drugs the pills can be cut with other chemicals to make more money for the dealer.
The recipes for making E can be found easily on the Internet, (although it's not recommended that you try making it without two years in a university chemistry course.) Most of the chemicals used can be bought at your local hardware store. The industrial chemicals used in the processing are not designed for human consumption, but then again: At $35-40 a pill for what costs pennies to make…who cares?
*Authors Note: Too bad the dead can't write letters.
At the beginning of the week, about 10 of us took the same E at the same
time at an E party of mine. As it turned out I was floored off my ass on
the very same E that got me dancing like crazy at a rave 2 weeks before.
me? What happened that night?