I always had a fear of being caught on my knees praying. I’ll let you in on a not so shameful secret too: I do it. And I’m now admitting it publicly. So, what’s this fear about?

Fear is the essence of addiction; that’s why I used drugs. In the beginning, it was a way to overcome the fear and keep functioning with a reasonable level of comfort in situations where I was afraid the fear would paralyze me.

Although I had a phobia of actually being seen "praying," I did other things which were shameless in doing drugs. For instance, I’d have no fear of being with people and snorting drugs through a rolled up dollar bill! Choking on a joint or throwing up on the street after drinking too much was "acceptable behavior." However, being seen on my knees speaking to an invisible "Higher Power" was weird! More...